Dale's Reviews is moving to fortnightly!

As mentioned with on the Geek-I/O show, Dale's Reviews is moving to a fortnightly basis, with the last weekly show being on June 5th co-in-siding with the release new rant and review show. I have a few "Dale's Reviews" specials to do between now and then, so that should tie you over into the new format. These "Dale's Reviews" will be full 10-15 minute shows right here and they should be recorded Wednesdays right after Today in Musical Theatre. 

 If you wish to send me suggestions for these special rant and reviews, feel free to send them to thechefwonder@gmail.com. Thank you for your support, as these shows take a long time to produce!   

Dale Reviews 13 - Bio-Dome

Suggested by: Rachel Boat (For Pauly Shore month)

TITO Rating: 7.5

My interpretation of the plot: Regular Pauly Shore formula but this time in a rain forest.  

Back story/Fun Fact: N/A

Now for the review....Basically, I enjoyed the smugness of this film but huge plot hole was unavoidable in this movie.

Some other notes. PLOT HOLE: So they are in a perfectly controlled eco-system...first of all you don't have laughing gas, air-conditioning running throughout the dome, junk food in a natural environment, and there is a ton more!

But I will say that Safety Dance is best working music ever. This movie wins the "Best Soundtrack" award for anything I have reviewed on this program. 

​If you have any feedback or suggestions, you can email them directly to me at thechefwonder @ gmail . com (remove the spaces) or tweet them to me twitter.com/TheDaleCampbell and huge thanks to CJ and the Geek IO crew for letting me release the trannies each and every week!

Keep calm and tranny on!

Dale!​​

Quick review + Check in

Dale Reviews 12 - Jury Duty

Suggested by: Rachel Boat (For Pauly Shore month)

TITO Rating: 6.5

My interpretation of the plot: A sexually confused failed stripper get a notice to serve jury duty. At first everything is going bad for Pauly Shore, but he uses his wittiness to save himself from going insane.  

Back story/Fun Fact: I couldn't find one?

Now for the review....Simply, this film as a lot of holes...but I enjoy looking at the screen but I didn't like watching it.

Some other notes. LOTS OF NOTES! But first a dark breaking and entering scene to a strip clip, called International House of Beef Cakes. Also, I don't believe that this version of Pauly Shore owns a suit by the way, and he needs to learn to shut his mouth. I mean you shout out "Your out of order" in a court room because you will get thrown out. Also you can't pull your hand out of a bus without it bleeding or without it being broken. But one positive from this movie...I had a screen capping fantastic fun-time during the dream sequence!

​If you have any feedback or suggestions, you can email them directly to me at thechefwonder @ gmail . com (remove the spaces) or tweet them to me twitter.com/TheDaleCampbell and huge thanks to CJ and the Geek IO crew for letting me release the trannies each and every week!

Keep calm and tranny on!

Dale!​​

Dale Reviews 11 - Son In Law

Suggested by: Rachel Boat (For Pauly Shore month)

TITO Rating: 8

My interpretation of the plot: A shy country girl goes to college and meets the residential adviser, who is a confused student who has studied everything. Carla Gugino takes Pauly Shore back home and they fall in love despite the existing relationship with Dan Gauthier

Back story/Fun Fact:  To promote the film, MTV ran a contest to marry Pauly Shore in Las Vegas. Tanya Cinotti of Salisbury, Massachusetts, won the honor and the wedding was set for July 2, 1993. Though there was a ceremony, no marriage certificates were signed.

Now for the review....This movie felt like "Guess Who Coming To Dinner" ​but it took too long to build up. This film on my marking sheet got a boarding 7/8 and I gave it an 8 because of overall funness of the movie but it took to long to get there and the soft moments at the end were not needed.

Some other notes. I don't know much about American culture, so the South Dakota and California in-jokes going on. You know your movie is dated when you roller skate everywhere. Some dialogue moments..,"It's better than a kick in the face with a golf shoe" and "If we wait any longer any longer it will be my graduation." Now some euphemisms, like "Re-glazed your sub-route and "Tweaked my melons"

​If you have any feedback or suggestions, you can email them directly to me at thechefwonder @ gmail . com (remove the spaces) or tweet them to me twitter.com/TheDaleCampbell and huge thanks to CJ and the Geek IO crew for letting me release the trannies each and every week!

Keep calm and tranny on!

Dale!​​

Dale Reviews 10 - Primer

Suggested by: Listener, Hawk484

TITO Rating: 6

My interpretation of the plot: A group of hackers build this super machine that manipulates people.

Back story/Fun Fact: This picture explains this movie pretty well http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/84/Time_Travel_Method-2.svg 

Now for the review....Yes I followed for this movie for the most part, yes there were moments that were a bit grey but it payed of (well for me at least) at the end. There still are face palm moments in this movie, but they handled the concept of the movie pretty well. 

Some other notes. Face palm moments include: The actors talking over each other. You know the budget was low when you have to steal parts for your computer from other people. Editing: DO SOME! Clean cuts are fine but not for every time. 

I could list all of the finer details all day, but I think they handled the actual scientific concept excellently and the fact some of the face palm moment are answered later in the film, I can be more easy towards some of the minor face palms. For example, The fact one of them is wearing a different suit and everyone else, is forgivable despite my taste for fashion (clearly) *cough*.

​If you have any feedback or suggestions, you can email them directly to me at thechefwonder @ gmail . com (remove the spaces) or tweet them to me twitter.com/TheDaleCampbell and huge thanks to CJ and the Geek IO crew for letting me release the trannies each and every week!

Keep calm and tranny on!

Dale!​

Dale Reviews 9 - The Gingerdead Man

​<clean>

Running Time: ​8:38 

​Written Review

​Suggested by: ME!! (Yay, I got a suggestion on the show)

TITO Rating: 3

My interpretation of the plot: Something about a bakery and how a bad batch of gingerbread men results in one transforming and killing people and the only way that this can be solved is by eating it!

Back story/Fun Fact: The original sequel was planned to be entitled "Gingerdead Chick." Somehow this movie has a 60% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Now for the review.... I had an "Evil Dead" feel throughout this film but it stunk of "In The Name King" and with consist reminders that "Oh yes, this is a direct to DVD release." This movie smelt of potential, but failed to hit my mark.

Some other notes. Here we go...in rapid fire style!

Firstly long and strange opening credits for no reason and you don't need to take ​10 minutes to wrap-up your movie. Shooting people in a "Shoot Production" seem redundant. My first question in this movie was, what mother honers killing people. You know you are up for a fun movie when the main set has the worst sign. The stereotypical horror score drove me insane. If this movie taught me one thing, always use the front entrance. Baker Butcher...really. Oh hey, your arm is bleeding, I know let's put it in the dough. Speaking of the dough, was that some of the worst stop motion you have ever seen. Troupe time! The competition teaming up with the other team and the consist walking into traps are the only two I care about. But the best part of the movie was the bitch fight!

At least movie mad me smile ​

​If you have any feedback or suggestions, you can email them directly to me at thechefwonder @ gmail . com (remove the spaces) or tweet them to me twitter.com/TheDaleCampbell and huge thanks to CJ and the Geek IO crew for letting me release the trannies each and every week!

Keep calm and tranny on!

Dale!​

Dale Reviews 8 - Transformers: Beast Wars

Suggested by: CJ Boat

TITO Rating: 7

My interpretation of the plot:  Some animals cash into a misery planet then they meet some bad animals then they fight...transformer style!

Back story/Fun Fact: The show ran for three seasons. The first season ran from September 16th 1996 though to April 1st 1997. Season 2 ran from 26th of October 1997 though to March 13 1998 and season 3 ran from 13 October though to March 7th 1999.

Now for the review....I think if saw this back in the 90's (or if I was alive), I think I would have appreciated the graphics better. Saying that, I enjoyed the absolute corny dialogue and sort of the enjoyed the crappy graphics. 

Some other notes. I didn't really take any notes...but I did capture about 12-13 different sound clips (hence why I put the audio review up this week.

​If you have any feedback or suggestions, you can email them directly to me at thechefwonder @ gmail . com (remove the spaces) or tweet them to me twitter.com/TheDaleCampbell and huge thanks to CJ and the Geek IO crew for letting me release the trannies each and every week!

Keep calm and tranny on!

Dale!​

Dale Reviews 7 - The Producers - The Movie

Suggested by: Jon Slater

TITO Rating: 9.5 

My interpretation of the plot:  A Broadway producer and a nerdy accountant partner to attempt to make the biggest Broadway “flop” but an OVER gay director/actor turns it into a hit and the producers get locked up. Whilst in the lock-up, they write and produce another play that turns everything around!

Back story/Fun Fact:  This film contained six dick jokes...can you point them out?

Now for the review....THIS MOVIE WAS AMAZING (not perfect though.) It was uplifting and comedic relief from what we've been watching on Geek-I/O

Some other notes. Two main problems with the film (or The WHOLE Producers as a whole) is the Ulla having 50 million names. Also, they use too many sets in the opening song "I Want To Be A Producer." ​ It's like a grand tour of New York for no reason.

​If you have any feedback or suggestions, you can email them directly to me at thechefwonder @ gmail . com (remove the spaces) or tweet them to me twitter.com/TheDaleCampbell and huge thanks to CJ and the Geek IO crew for letting me release the trannies each and every week!

Keep calm and tranny on!

Dale!​

Dale Reviews 6 - The Raven

Suggested by: Jon Slater

TITO Rating: 8.5

My interpretation of the plot: An acclaimed poet and critic of poetic pieces inspires a serial killer to plot out his murders exactly how they are published. While the plot of the film is fictional, the writers based it on some accounts of real situations surrounding Edgar Allan Poe's mysterious death

Back story/Fun Fact:  The film holds a rating of 22% on Rotten Tomatoes based on 123 reviews. The Raven barely broke even at the box office by grossing $26.05 million worldwide on a budget of $26 million.

Now for the review....Now my tranny score might be a bit elevated (yes I just said elevated trannies...ha!) But I love the old British-type style and I think this movie keeps in this feel all the way throughout. The movie held it's story throughout and it was clear where it was going, but one complaint about this movie is that it played all of it's cards at the beginning and kind of left nothing to play off in the middle of the film.

Some other notes.  This movie taught me that quoting poetry in the bar will get you punched! But my main point that I wanted to make with this movie is, that this movie is about a writer and a critic that inspires to act on what he writes...hey that sounds like me. I hope I haven't inspired anyone to do anything bad? Also, I hope my run on Geek IO doesn't get bumped for a Longfellow. That would make me very angry!

​If you have any feedback or suggestions, you can email them directly to me at thechefwonder @ gmail . com (remove the spaces) or tweet them to me twitter.com/TheDaleCampbell and huge thanks to CJ and the Geek IO crew for letting me release the trannies each and every week!

Keep calm and tranny on!

Dale!

Dale Reviews 5 - The Evil Dead

Sorry about the delay...I have been SUPPER BUSY!!​

Dale Reviews 5 - The Evil Dead​

Suggested by: Jarred A

TITO Rating: 8

My interpretation of the plot: In this cheesy film where a group of young people decide to go to for a weekend camping trip to a spooky place in the middle of the woods. One by one, each member of the group gets dragged to come to the dark side. 

Back story/Fun Fact: 

Because of the crew's inexperienced nature, filming was a "comedy of errors". The very first day of filming led to the crew getting lost in the woods during a scene shot on a bridge. Several crew members ended up getting injured during the shoot, and because of the cabin's remoteness, it made securing medical help very difficult.

Now for the review....and I think that it's that comedy of errors and the cheese factor that makes this movie so enjoyable to watch. Now, I'm not a huge fan of this genre, so I didn't really pay attention to most of the second half of this film, however, some of those parts were laughable.

Some other notes.  One of my main notes (apart from pointing out all of the cheese factor points) is that the way to listen to audio books in 1981 is to pull out the biggest tape machine and by plugging tangled up pair of headphones. Also, with the welcome dinner, what type of food was that! That is something that I wouldn't even feed my cat. Lastly, this movie had a horrible attempt at porn, with the whole tree and the lady scene that went for WAY to long. Overall, I had fun laughing at this movie campyness but  if you aren't into that...this movie is not for you!

​If you have any feedback or suggestions, you can email them directly to me at thechefwonder @ gmail . com (remove the spaces) or tweet them to me twitter.com/TheDaleCampbell and huge thanks to CJ and the Geek IO crew for letting me release the trannies each and every week!

Keep calm and tranny on!

Dale!

Dale Reviews 4 - Memento

Suggested by: Jared Budlong

TITO Rating: 1  (yep we're back to crap movies)

My interpretation of the plot: After Trannie Adam thinks he has an accident and bumps his head,  Lennard, who can't remember what he had for breakfast, goes on an adventure to try and find the lowlife who murdered and raped his wife.

Back story: As hinted above, Guy Pearce played trannies Adam Whitely and Felicia Jollygoodfellow in 1994's "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" (TITO connection.) As for this movie, it appeared in several best of lists. Including Steven Jay Schneider's "1001 Movies You Must See You Die". It was number 976 (above Dancer in the Dark)

Now for the review....This has to be the worst film I have ever seen! This movie is soo bad. The actors looked so uncomfortable and the delivery of the dialogue is like interacting with cardboard. I get the concept, but I think it could be executed better. Also, there was nothing to hold on to in this movie, no joy, no comic relieves...nothing! I had more fun with BloodRayne for crying out load, and the only reason this got a higher score is this had some production value to it.

Some other notes. (Man did I get some notes) Skipping over most of my notes, Watching Guy piecing this puzzle together was like watching a two year old trying to build a table. This movie had a lot of inappropriate f-bombs, maybe that's just me as I don't use them often. Oh, getting back to the concept real quick,  I know the movie was meant to have the inter-crossing storyline but I think this movie would have been better without it. I was sitting there wondering which storyline we were on, and I know the blank and white filter was meant to help but it didn't as they forgot to change it back towards the end. Lastly aren't we glad that Polaroid Cameras were still a thing in the year 2000. What would they use instead  if this movie would be re-made...not a laptop with a digital camera...he would loose it every 10 minutes. Actually, I surprised he didn't loose his files even once. 

​I am deferentially stopping my notes there....you would be here all day if I didn't. 

​If you have any feedback or suggestions, you can email them directly to me at thechefwonder @ gmail . com (remove the spaces) or tweet them to me twitter.com/TheDaleCampbell and huge thanks to CJ and the Geek IO crew for letting me release the trannies each and every week!

Dale Reveiws 3 - The One (2001)

Suggested by: CJ Boat

TITO Rating: 8.5 (Finally a good movie!!!)

My interpretation of the plot: A super Asian criminal, formally an officer of the "Multiverse Authority" (MVA) that polices inter-dimensional travel (via detecting wormhole openings, which can be predicted like the weather via flip phones), seeks to hunt down and kill all other variations of himself in alternate universes. In which, the alternative does some crazy actions (for example killing his wife because she is confused as she can see 2 different people.)

Back story:  Clearly this movie has gotten better with time. The film received mostly negative reviews. Based on 84 reviews collected by Rotten Tomatoes, the film has an overall approval rating from critics of 14%, with an average score of 3.9/10

Now for the review....I don't care if I'm the highest rating this week, this movie deserves it! The (relatively) simple plot mixed with the rocking soundtrack to back the fight scenes and to use a transitions is the way a good movie should be made!

Some other notes. One distracting thing about this movie is that it has all of these hi-tech fancy guns and touch panels in your alternate universe...but you have a small box television and every time the TV is on in the background it is playing the George W Bush health care reform speech (Is there something I'm missing something?) Also, who needs this cool tech, when you have fantastic kung-fu skills and slow motion on your side. Lastly this movie taught me so many things, but the most importantly that humans don't have paws and a tail....

This has been fun! If you have any feedback or suggestions, you can email them directly to me at thechefwonder @ gmail . com (remove the spaces) or tweet them to me twitter.com/TheDaleCampbell and huge thanks to CJ and the Geek IO crew for letting me release the trannies each and every week!

Dale Reviews 2 - BloodRayne

Suggested by: Jonathan Slater (for Geek IO video game month) (again)

TITO Rating: 0.5 (out of 10)

My interpretation of the plot: In this trope fest that features everything from speaking out notes, ketchup packs, cardboard-cutout dialogue and bad bleary flashbacks,  Rayne is the half-human half-vampire Dhampir and the lead attraction in a carnival's freak-show in Romania. When she some how transports to a strange land, she meets a fortuneteller that tells that her mother was raped by the king of the vampires Kagan and she decides to destroy her father.

Back story: The film is meant to be based on the Majesco video game of the same name. This movie cost $25 million (what what was it spent on) and only made $1.5 million (approx) at the box office however it made $3.5 million in Home Entertainment sales (June 2006)

Now for the review...In The Name Of The King but for a "different" video game. Like The name of the king you have bad editing, cardboard dialogue, and all of the tropes you know and love from 800 different movies.

Some other notes: Instead of Benny Hill music...this time he have trombones (yey *sarcasm* ). Speaking of sounds, why are we being reminded that horses are still the main form of transportation. I was so tempted to give this movie a 1, for the boobies but seeing they kept using ketchup packs for blood. Speaking of boobies, why did the middle of the film turn into a porn (I'm sure that's not the source material.) I sear without all of the flashbacks, this movie would have been 60 minutes. ​Also, you don't end your movie staring into the camera...she crept me out and left a bad taste in my mouth.

This had been fun! If you have any feedback or suggestions, you can email them directly to me at thechefwonder @ gmail . com (remove the spaces) or tweet them to me twitter.com/TheDaleCampbell and huge thanks to CJ and the Geek IO crew for letting me release the trannies!

Dale Reviews 1 - Final Fantasy: Legend of the Crystals

Suggested by: Jonathan Slater (for Geek IO video game month)

TITO Rating: 2 (out of 10)

My interpretation of the plot: In this completely pointless "thing," two children are blasted to "Planet R" in the apparent future to help save the world.

Back story: Wow! Depending on who you ask, this "thing" is considered either a four part movie or a mini-series or just simply a failed TV show that couldn't get off the ground. Legend of the Crystals is meant to based on  Final Fantasy V but kinda get some things are not quite right. (For example, chocobos appear featherless and somewhat alien in appearance)

Now for the review....Very disappointing. I was expecting Final Fantasy but got served  slightly frozen leftovers! Also you can't get passed the fact the shots, editing and out of sync voice work and sound clips. I give this two things; the fact that is VERY pretty and the plot is clear. As for the music, I felt so-so on it, it was relevant but didn't blow me away.  

Some other notes. The over the top slap-stick feel got boring really quickly. I would given this a 3 have anything but animals jumped out in the dessert (like a tranny!) Lastly, when you get in trouble, your transport doesn't speed up suddenly.

This had been fun! If you have any feedback or suggestions, you can email them directly to me at thechefwonder @ gmail . com (remove the spaces) or tweet them to me twitter.com/TheDaleCampbell and huge thanks to CJ and the Geek IO crew for letting me release the trannies! 

Now Playing On The Geek IO Stage: Dale Campbell!

*Loud over-the-top announcer voice*  Ladies, gentlemen (and even Trannies,) please welcome to the Geek IO team, a man who can foresee the future before it happens because he lives  there, a man who has been refereed as the "Tranny Dealer," Intern for Coverville and The Morning Stream on the Frogpants Network and awesome guy.....DALE CAMPBELL!! *Crowd noise*

Okay maybe that was a bit extreme, oh and huge thanks to PA at work for writing that introduction for me. My name is Dale Campbell and yes I am an Aussie (that's not a knife!) For those who don't know me, here is me in a nut -shell... A geek who sorts emails and goes to university (starting this week) by day, and by night, stocks shelves and ensures stock levels are correct! I also now watch movies for Geek IO and run this little page!

I will post my reviews for Rant and Reviews here and when my schedule will allow it, I will be on the show and giving my review there! If you have any suggestions for random movies for me to watch, do not hesitate and send me an email at thechefwonder @ gmail . com (remove spaces)